In the 1st Quarter of 2007, we looked ahead to the high (low?) lights coming up to start the New Year.
Now for the 2nd Quarter...
The Major League Baseball season begins. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays lose their first 11 games, but team officials say not to worry, we're just getting started.
The Florida Gators win their second straight NCAA Final Four Championship, beating UCLA in the finals. The Governator pays off his bet with Florida Governor Charlie Crist by sending Maria to Tallahassee to serve as Charlie's First Babe.
The House Government Oversight Committee questions Vice President Dick Cheney under oath in public. The Vice President testifies that he did nothing illegal in his private meetings with energy companies when setting the Bush Administration energy policy. Four oil company executives then testify that Cheney made them funnel ill gotten profits to the Carlyle Group.
The House Judiciary Committee begins investigating Cheney for perjury. Cheney vows never to pull a Spiro Agnew and resign.
No one files their Federal Income Tax return on paper this year. The first ever 100% automated filing season causes communication hubs to crash at 11:55 PM on April 15th. 25 million tax returns are lost when IRS workers try to record their arrival on their touch screen tax review machines. Congress is investigating.
Speaking of touch screen machines, the plaintiffs in the FL-13, the computer ate 18,000 vote lawsuits, reported that the ES&S software they examined turned out to have been riddled with bugs - real bugs - tiny mites who ate holes in the disks that the source code was stored on, creating an 18 1/2 minute gap of what sounded a lot like Alice's Restaurant.
The House Judiciary Committee votes 18-2 to impeach Dick Cheney. Cheney says Sprio Agnew should never have resigned and pledges he will not. "No way I'm going to let them replace me with Tom Tancredo."
US troops mark the half way point in their pull out from Iraq. John McCain wants to send the other half back in a surge to gain control of the Green Zone.
George W Bush tells Iran they have weeks, not months to comply with a 5 month old UN Resolution ordering them to halt uranium enrichment. Iranian President AShmajdbhghfjj or whoever he is, sends a letter to Bill Bennet explaining why Bush's actions are immoral. Bennet responds, "I wouldn't bet on it."
Al Gore wins the Oscar for Best Documentary for his film An Inconvenient Truth. In his acceptance speech Gore thanks George Bush for giving him time off to make the film, and oh, by the way, I'm running for President.