How to Talk to the Other Side

I plan to begin a series of “How to Talk to Diaries” tomorrow. The goal of the “How to Talk to Diary” series is to give you a foundation for talking to people who probably will agree with you, if you approach the subject in a manner that will not automatically cause them to reject your message before you have a chance to get to the meat of the matter. It is also to show that you can bring the other side around to your way of thinking without compromising your values. Another way of saying this is that you can be pragmatic and yet uncompromising.

As a starting point, we need to discuss values based decision making. This is how I try to approach every challenge or opportunity that I face. First and foremost, I cling to my values. Values are never compromised. From this starting point, decisions are made on how best to achieve the goals that stem from your values. Without getting into a long discussion about values, let me just give you what is, in my case, the root of all values:

Love thy neighbor as thyself

Every other value is derived from this root value. It is why I am a Democrat, because I have made a determination that this is the party that best suits my values.

Here is the framework we are going to use to Talk to the Other Side:

Define the Overarching Strategy
Define the Terminology
Mangle the Memes

Define the Overarching Strategy

Defining the overall strategy is the key to the entire process of Talking to the Other Side. When you talk to the other side, you should start with your goal in mind. So first, you need to define your goal. The next step is to determine which of your values apply to this goal. Only then can you determine the best overarching strategy to achieve your goal without compromising your values.

Define the Terminology

Defining the terminology is akin to choosing the battlefield. If you let the other side define the terminology, you will be fighting your battle on the other guys’ battlefield. Any tactician will tell you that he who determines the battlefield has the much better chance of winning the battle.

Mangle the Memes

The other side is not going to take all this lying down. They are going to counter attack you with their favorite memes. You are going to counter attack them by never letting a meme go unchallenged. You have already defined your terminology. You can mix up your counterattacks by using your predefined terminology in response to their memes, or you can turn their own memes back on them. Use either of these tactics, or both. You will confound your opposition and carry the day.

See you tomorrow with the first of the “How to Talk to” diaries.